Sunday, May 8, 2016

MOTHER'S DAY

       Thinking about Mother's Day can be a daunting thing. Where would one start? 
     Those of us who are mothers sometimes tend to think the day is about us. I mean really, we went through all the ailments known to human kind. You know, morning sickness, nine months of waddling like a duck, clothes that would only fit a whale, the fact that the whole world misunderstands how difficult it is to approach the state of motherhood, just to recite a few. 
     The benefits and respect should be ours, right? All the Mother's Day cards and gifts...flowers, chocolates, gift cards for a day spa, lunch at a fancy restaurant, the day completely off, sleep late, new dress for church, you name it, it should be ours!
     Not that those thoughts haven't entered my mind and even taken up residence there, but why should we feel so entitled? I remember expecting those very same things the first year I was a mother, only about ten weeks after Mother's Day passed. 
  A while ago I came into possession of one of the most valuable pictures I've been able to hold in my hands. I'm going to share this beautiful lady with you today and try to tell you why it is not I who deserves the honor of Mother's day, but she who deserves the honor.  
  There are so many memories I have of this lady being the servant, the teacher, the caregiver, the example of unending love. There were times she sacrificed her own new dress so I could have one, or the boys could have a new pair of jeans. 
     I remember her altering her Sunday dress each season; making it either spring, or more fallish. I think she wore the same dress for all three kids weddings, adding a jacket, or sleeves, or a changing the length. She had this way of making quirky little hats for Sunday that were no more than wisps of net on a covered oatmeal box lid, or head band.
     I can see her walking around on Sunday morning in her blue house coat, stockings and heals and one of those little hat things on her head; while she prepared lunch before leaving for church.
     She would prepare the communion trays before we left for church and give one to each kid to hold so they would not spill, that was a pressure none of us wanted, they always spilled.
    Many of us from those times remember S&H green stamps and Community Coffee coupons, they were like money and that's how we got birthday and Christmas presents. I guess I always thought she drank coffee because she liked it, but I just realized it might have been another sacrifice for us. 
     Christmas...we got mostly cloths, and underwear but my first grade year I got the most beautiful bride doll any little girl could imagine. I still have her, but she stinks and half of her face is gone. That doesn't devalue the pride I had that Christmas morning,
 thanks to the S&H store. 
     Don't be fooled, though, she had her moments. One year my older cousin (by ten months or so) and I decided we would shake and guess what our presents were. Little did we know she had a plan for knowing whose gifts were whose and we mixed up the gifts. On Christmas morning, he got my essentials and I got his, very embarrassed, and more than a little upset, we had to model our gifts. At least she let us show off a dress and a boys shirt. 
     I remember her sitting with a pillow behind her back, and one under her so she could see between the steering wheel to drive. Of course I had the same problem when I started driving but finally fixed it so we could get a smaller, "NEW" car. I simply wrecked the land boat five times before my senior year.
     When the grand kids started coming, she quickly changed gears and we, as her kids, ceased to exist, except as the reason she now had grand children. It was M&M's or Snickers almost every night, or a $10 dollar bill slipped into our pockets to buy them a treat. She even started checking the pantry to be sure there was "good" food for their dinner.
     One time she chased my oldest around her back yard because he told her he was eating mushrooms in the back yard, he actually meant marshmallows. It was out of love that she nearly killed him. 
       As you might imagine, these are only a few fleeting thoughts and remembrances from over the years.  
     When times changed and she became so ill, we never forgot, even once what or who she was to us. She was Mother. The very essence of what this day is all about.
     Thank you, Mom for teaching me what a mother should be. 
I love you.
A.