I Love a Story

    You can find one in the delightful antics of a toddler, on a walk in the quiet coolness of a foggy morning, or in the middle of a riotous celebration of friends taking a road trip. There is a story to be found in most every day.

   Not all stories start out to be that; sometimes they just happen, especially when you aren't looking. Then as you look back over a life lived, the high spots start to rise and soon the whole thing has taken on a personality of it's own...a story has been born.
  Today there is a special story I would like to highlight, it's one of those kind that slip up on you when you're not looking. 
   Think back in time with me and enjoy this one. You will probably finish with one very similar in your own mind.  Enjoy...
   Some sixty-odd years ago, while I was still too young to know that stories actually happen to people, while I still thought they were just the "once-upon-a-time" ones that moms everywhere read at bedtime, this story began.
   I was an only girl in an all boy family and had no friends of my own, until one day I remember being at my aunt's house and realizing the somewhat younger girl there was my cousin.  
   I don't remember really meeting her, she was just always there...we were always together.  The younger years of paper dolls, skinned knees, eating Popsicles in the back yard, staying at each other's house, playing in the sprinkler... just always was.
   Then one day I remember their family moved into the house next door to ours, that's where our story really started.  By this time we were around eight, I think.
   There was only a shrub fence between our front yards, and her bedroom window was right across the driveway from mine.  We knew there was a "lights out" but the consequences were not strong enough to remove the temptation to talk through the window. This was before air-conditioning and our windows were always open. It was as if when the lights went out, our day continued.
   The nights, just before we had to be inside, were shared lying on our backs looking at the stars and talking about what might be out there, in the darkest of dark (science was only for school).
   Right after school was a time for playing, cutting limbs off trees, riding bikes and arm wrestling the guys down the street. (and always beating them)...hmmm, maybe that's why we both married guys not from the neighborhood. Although those guys were our protectors, companions and confidants when we needed one, as well as "dates to all things school related." To Jr. high dances, dance parties at her house, etc.
   You've heard the saying "girl fight", well we were the best, we could have majored in that subject and have a thriving business teaching girls today.  Right there between my driveway and her shrub hedge, we would kick, bite, pull hair, scratch skin off with nails, bend arms back 'til the other cried, "Give"; and on and on. When we were both too tired to even remember what the fight was about, we sat down to plan who would spend the night at whose house.
   Then as we got older, and started high school, (I mean she was just a little kid then, she couldn't drive a car, or anything REAL teenagers could do), we developed our own set of friends and life started to happen.  I got married, had a baby and moved away, then she got married and started having babies, too.  The only times we were together were Christmases when the family Christmas Eve get-together came around.  We could still pick up the phone and start our last conversation where it left off though.
   Fast forward some thirty-ish years (I guess, time doesn't transfer in my stories, as relationships do). 
   Now enter the Diva years.  She and I, along with the friend I met in first grade, got together and became THE DIVA'S, before you could even find bling that says "Diva."  We have traveled, talked, shopped, ate, talked, cried, talked and have formed a golden chain not easily broken by life.  
   Since I have nothing to give as a tribute to my BFF, COUSIN, and DIVA SISTER, you get to be the feature of my story. Have a beautiful Sunday afternoon and, I love you DS. 

A Special Night

   Tonight Les and I did something we haven't done in a very long time. We actually sat on the back porch...yes with our Sleepy time tea, and talked for over an hour.  At one point in our life, this was an A1 priority for us.  Sort of like camp Nana and Papa, like the situation room.  
  We've not really had an agenda, for the most part, but usually it started as a re-grouping of what we felt our goals in this life should be, are they the same and should they be? Have we felt we've accomplished any of the things we had purposed to do, and how could we measure any success, and what were the things that didn't work?  
  Our re-grouping sessions have been going on for many years. They use to be done on a weekend away at least once a year, but life can get in the way, even of things that evolved from core values, and some times we discovered our core values had changed.  Those were exhausting weekends.  Then there was the follow through.
  Tonight, for the most part, we came to the conclusion that, NO we had not accomplished most of those goals and the likelihood of it happening now is slim.  So what should we do about those things. Those things being our children and now grandchildren. How could we best guide them and give them guidelines to set their own values and purpose for living life.  Should we now review our own life and prioritize for the future, whatever that might look like. 
  How should we handle our growing older and their growing older as well.  Should we sit back and say "Oh well, we tried", or should we say, "Oh no, we tried and got it all wrong".  Of course we don't believe we got it ALL wrong, we have an awesome group of kids who in many cases learned from what we did rather than what we said.  Isn't that the pits???  I hate it when that happens.  But we feel we have an awesome relationship with them and that is vital to us.
  We had one of the best talks on our own spiritual beliefs, growth, or lack there of, in some cases.  Threw out some challenges for consideration.   It would do no good at this point to say Papa has it all wrong because all the kids think he is the authority, and who knows, he might think so too.  After all, his personality is "being right and knowing he is right".  (that would be choleric(?) and melancholy) The worst possible combination to try to have a productive discussion with, trust me!
  I guess my reason for writing tonight is that I have missed that close give and take with the one with whom I am one.  I want to thank the Father for putting those in our lives who are not our kids only by DNA, but ones who have chosen to attach (and be attached) to this crazy, mixed up, loving, laughing, loyal, sometimes agreeing and sometimes agreeing to disagree, group we call family.  If you are reading this, you know who you are and that we love you beyond any reason. 
Nana

Another Graduate Walks

I mostly look back when some one I love approaches a crossroads.  Have others  managed those changes.  In the past couple weeks, I have been reading and re-reading not just my blogging, but have been looking through my books of memory and trying to track the milestones my loved ones have passed.  It could have something to do with Hunter starting first grade and Kaela graduating high school.

With Kaela's graduation, comes another phase of not only her life, but our family's as well.  Dakota will graduate next year, but after that, all the older grandchildren will be starting a new journey, one that will be all of their own making.  I remember that feeling so well.  I remember thinking the adults who kept telling me, "these are the best years of your life, just enjoy them" must had never gone to school a day in their lives.  Or, "there will come a day when you look back, with fond memories on your high school time". LOL

The odd truth about the people who were trying to get me to be just who I was meant to be, someone who had not lived even two decades in this life, were so right.  For me, the light started to dawn on the first day of school following my graduation.  Everyone else I knew, except a couple close friends, were continuing life as they always had.  Meeting outside the buildings and hallways laughing, talking, catching up on life through the summer.  They were comparing schedules and deciding who was sharing a locker with whom.  What classes they shared and who was going to be in the same electives together.  Still not worrying about how many credits they needed or what a GPA really meant.

For me, things changed rather suddenly the night before that first day of school in September.  I didn't have to set my radio clock as early, didn't have to have clothes picked out and PE things together or my name on my new supplies. I didn't have to put those stove pipe curlers in my hair, well maybe that was the good part.  I had a couple days to go to the local furniture store to receive my small memory Lane hope chest and to go to the bank to open my first checking account that offered no service charge for five years (what a mistake).

Some of my friends were off to , LSU, some to the Air Force, others went to work in their parents buildings.  I still had to wait 'til after Labor Day to talk to the recruiter for the business school I had chosen to attend.  I did learn some good things there, typing and shorthand were NOT on the list though.  I have a friend here in Houston who can verify that...white out was my best friend and I just got sick if I had to take dictation.  After we graduated from there we worked at the same company, I believe one time she sat in the adjoining office and actually took down the letter so I could transcribe it.  Fun times!!  Some of the things I did learn though that have seen me through all my job interviews were, how to dress, how to converse with the decision maker and how to know who that person was, to show my skills and abilities, and get past the typing stuff.  To let them know why I would be the best person for the job. I actually got asked, right off the bat, first question was..."Well, Alma, why shoes" part time job in the shoe dept of a department store...that one threw me.  My response was "well, why not shoes", wrong answer.

I guess if I could sum it up, I would say kiddos, don't rush growing up.  You have only spent eighteen years so far.  Sit down and have a real conversation with someone who has walked where you are getting ready to walk, then add their advice to your "things to take to the table" at your first job interview, because there will be one coming VERY soon.  Since more and more young people think they want to "make it on their own" just a couple days after having dad and mom who has payed for everything.  Sorry digressing a little there.

Still, I was one proud Nana when they called her name and she walk across the stage and receive the diploma  They all worked, slaved, studied and partied so hard to get.  (well studied so hard might be a little over stated, suffered might be closer to true).

I love everyone of you who has achieved this milestone and those who are still working toward it.

HAPPY GRADUATION DAY KAELA!
I love you.
Nana

From Honor - Comes Honor

Just when does it become okay to cross the line and no longer be a "nice guy," just listening to another person's view on topics ranging from religion to child rearing, but never stating your own beliefs, thereby subjecting yourself to the other person's dogma?  How do both people say what is dearest to their hearts and still honor the other person? Both thinking, "If we could just get them to understand what we understand...then they would surely see this my way"?

So many times this dilemma is the end of open and true discussion, because we close our ears and hearts to the very people we have loved and honored for such a long time, enclosing ourselves in a vacuum of our own thinking.

We all have people in our lives with whom we agree and disagree on many levels.  Who is "right" and who is "wrong"?

When we become aware of the differences in opinion, sometimes subtle in dawning, other times smacking us between the eyes, does it really matter, as long as we honor each other? How and when do these changes take place?  Is it a particular event that causes our divide, or does it evolve over time with the realization that the other has changed so drastically we can no longer tolerate their core beliefs?

Why do we have this driving need to be right -- often at the expense of a relationship?  Why can we not sit down and listen to the others point of view, treating them as  worthy human beings, made in the image of the same loving God who created each of us, and values us all?  What insane idea makes us "more right" than another? 

Quite often I see parents and older adults who think they have the "Whole Truth" about everything, and their understanding of that Truth is absolute, no matter the topic, or a younger more enlighented person who believes education has given them wisdom.   Who are we to assume WE have ALL TRUTH and because another doesn't believe what we believe, it's so egregious that we  cannot share together.  I wonder if, what the apostles believed in the beginning of Jesus' ministry, was what they saw as Truth at the end? Just a thought. 

Recently, I've had the honor and pleasure of getting to know a young friend.  We are years apart in age, but there is a willingness on both sides to ask questions, present points of view we've both gleaned from life, and a respect we have both given and received in this slowly growing friendship.  This is practicing honor. I try to practice the idea of "seeking first to understand, and then to be understood." I have never seen a positive influence coming from one persons view running ram-shod over the other persons, nor does positive influence come from not taking time to understand what another stands for.  To find common ground is the ONLY place from which trust and love can be fostered. All humans have value and should be treated with honor.

These thoughts have been forming for some months. Finally, all the turmoil settled into sane thoughts I could commit to writing.  I realized one's core beliefs should not have to change in order for them to be acceptable to someone else.  No one should be allowed to bully another into falling into line with what they believe.  One who loves, loves at all times, without strings attached. This is not to say there is no truth, it is just not ours to translate.  "Lean not on your own understanding" Prov. 3:5.  "The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but he mouth of fools feeds on folly"  Prov. 15:14.

As usual, I know not everyone agrees with me, but that's okay.  I try to view those whom I love through the eyes of the One who gave His life for all of us, therefore giving us all the same honor.

A.

A New Blog

The purpose of my short blog, actually note, tonight is to direct you all to a new blog you might want to check out from time to time.  I don't know how he lets people know when he has added a post, but Les has a new blog on Wordpress.  It's at our2storyhouse.wordpress.com.  It's really cute and we might both blog from time to time, but mostly him.  You are also welcome to post a comment there too.   
Enjoy
A.

"United we stand, Divided we fall"

The title of my post has been something I have been thinking about for several months, maybe longer.  It doesn't mean I have come to any answers to the things I am going to blog about, it just grieves me to realize our country has come to such a point of division.

I know there are other statements alluding to this concept, and credence given to others for it, but Patrick Henry said these words in the last speech before he died.  Henry was passionate about his belief that standing together was a strengthening strategy against the enemy.  Henry's enemy was maybe more discernible than ours, in retrospect.

If one part of the statement is true, (and I believe it is) the other is also true. The enemy in our midst today is not as recognizable as it was for Henry or his countrymen. While we would like to paint politicians and "the other side" as that enemy, I believe they only bring out our own selfish desires.

How do we, as a people living in these United States of  America, in the twenty-first century, determine who, or what has caused the divide we feel so strongly, and how do we fix it?

I believe the electricity surrounding this year's election has at least set the tone for some of the division and heightened emotions that erode relationships between neighbors, friends and even family members.  We don't consciously say it, but, if their views, concepts, feelings and at times core beliefs differ from ours, it makes them somehow wrong and less "evolved".

It seems, as a nation, we are becoming more judgmental and our ideology is that of excesses. We can't balance the idea that God created both this country and it's resources (actually the world's) and human life.  We believe we should conserve the former and, when convenient, trash the latter.  We think balance comes only by adding and subtracting.  We have become a people expecting someone else to pick up the slack, either for us or someone else.  Religion is good, no it is bad...business is good, government is bad and vice versa.  There never seems to be a common ground any more.

It seems the media thinks they are all knowing.  IF we could get clean, no spin news, we might be able to make decisions free of the practice of journalism "mind control", but that also plays into our own selfish desires of getting what we think we should have.

Who can honestly say we are getting smarter and more advanced as a nation when we rip our fellow countrymen apart because of their ideas and beliefs.  We are all allowed our own beliefs and even to express them, for that I am thankful, but to belittle, bombard and chastise others for seeing and believing differently is just wrong.  This is where our political "leaders" should come to the table (hum, another concept just presented itself to me, but for another time) and work for the people, not against them.

If somehow we, as Americans, don't get a grip on our obsessive, and belligerent actions, this nation WILL fall, just as other great nations have in the past.  When we are so inner focused and rigid about the fact that everyone should live by "my personal code", we overlook God's will for our lives.  Believe it or not, He does have a plan.  That plan may not become known to us now, but it will become known.

There are times I can't imagine that plan would differ from mine, (enter humor here) as we all do, but I pray for His Grace and Mercy to each of us and also the ability for us to show that same grace and mercy to others.

There! I just found my answer...That we grant the same Grace and Mercy to others that we feel we should receive from them.

I know there are lots of people who will read my blog and have ideas about what I have said.  I give you that freedom and I do enjoy reading yours in return.  I don't write without a lot of soul searching and self evaluation and I hope you read with the same.

I love and appreciate each of you.
Alma

Visit My Shop - Opening Soon

My new venture is in the development stage.  It is, of course a joint project between Les, who is my IT department, and me.

For several years I have been dabbling in scrap booking and having lots of fun.  I've made quite a few for gifts, and a couple for us to remember our fun times and family celebrations. We all have photos stored in boxes, each representing a memory waiting to be shared. I will be presenting different styles and ways for those memories to be "unboxed". It's fun to enjoy and share those memories with family and friends.

I will put your book together for you and you can have the enjoyment of placing your memories where they tell your story best.

The name of my shop is "YourSpecialMemories" and the address is Etsy.com.  Please be looking for the opening of my store, as well as pictures you would like to capture in a fun and attractive way.  We will be open soon and ready for your holiday gift giving.

If you don't know what to give Grandma and Papaw this year, a scrap book with family pics would be a beautiful gift.  It would provide hours of fun, laughter and "OH, I remember, that's Uncle Bob's place"... Or, maybe a shadow box frame with specialized touches.
Be watching for my blog telling everyone my store is open.

Love to all,
A.
p.s.  tell friends about...YourSpecialMemories...too.