So many times this dilemma is the end of open and true discussion, because we close our ears and hearts to the very people we have loved and honored for such a long time, enclosing ourselves in a vacuum of our own thinking.
We all have people in our lives with whom we agree and disagree on many levels. Who is "right" and who is "wrong"?
When we become aware of the differences in opinion, sometimes subtle in dawning, other times smacking us between the eyes, does it really matter, as long as we honor each other? How and when do these changes take place? Is it a particular event that causes our divide, or does it evolve over time with the realization that the other has changed so drastically we can no longer tolerate their core beliefs?
Why do we have this driving need to be right -- often at the expense of a relationship? Why can we not sit down and listen to the others point of view, treating them as worthy human beings, made in the image of the same loving God who created each of us, and values us all? What insane idea makes us "more right" than another?
Quite often I see parents and older adults who think they have the "Whole Truth" about everything, and their understanding of that Truth is absolute, no matter the topic, or a younger more enlighented person who believes education has given them wisdom. Who are we to assume WE have ALL TRUTH and because another doesn't believe what we believe, it's so egregious that we cannot share together. I wonder if, what the apostles believed in the beginning of Jesus' ministry, was what they saw as Truth at the end? Just a thought.
Recently, I've had the honor and pleasure of getting to know a young friend. We are years apart in age, but there is a willingness on both sides to ask questions, present points of view we've both gleaned from life, and a respect we have both given and received in this slowly growing friendship. This is practicing honor. I try to practice the idea of "seeking first to understand, and then to be understood." I have never seen a positive influence coming from one persons view running ram-shod over the other persons, nor does positive influence come from not taking time to understand what another stands for. To find common ground is the ONLY place from which trust and love can be fostered. All humans have value and should be treated with honor.
These thoughts have been forming for some months. Finally, all the turmoil settled into sane thoughts I could commit to writing. I realized one's core beliefs should not have to change in order for them to be acceptable to someone else. No one should be allowed to bully another into falling into line with what they believe. One who loves, loves at all times, without strings attached. This is not to say there is no truth, it is just not ours to translate. "Lean not on your own understanding" Prov. 3:5. "The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but he mouth of fools feeds on folly" Prov. 15:14.
As usual, I know not everyone agrees with me, but that's okay. I try to view those whom I love through the eyes of the One who gave His life for all of us, therefore giving us all the same honor.
A.
